Cheers to 2015 and the Turtle’s Top 10

Top 10 Posts of 2015

I wasn’t going to do a wrap up / top 10 / count down post of any sort to finish off the year, as I’d already put this blog on hiatus for the holiday season.

But fuck it, there’s nothing wrong with a little self promotion every now and then is there?

This year has been a pretty wild ride for my little blog. I started off the year with a few dozen Facebook likers and the same few dozen readers (most of whom were related to me in some way), and am finishing 2015 with over 900 Facebook fans, and thousands of visitors to the blog each month. It’s pretty bloody awesome and I’d like to shout each and every one of you a beer. A virtual one, obviously.

Highlights for me this year have included becoming a regular blogger on the Huffington Post UK (and also being translated into Italian for the Italian HuffPost, where I’m pretty sure I was called a “stupid fucking American” in one of the comments), and being paid to write for outlets like Kidspot, Mamamia and MumCentral. It’s certainly not something I saw happening this time last year, when I was a freshly minted (and somewhat Earnest) blogger trying to figure out what the hell to write about.

These days I just write about what I know – swearing, drinking, parenting (often poorly executed), attempted lifestyle overhauls (also often poorly executed), boobs and babies. And love. Big big love for my two little ratbags terrors hurricanes – well, let’s just call them my ‘inspiration’.

To round off the year, here are the Top 10 most visited posts on Toilets aren’t for Turtles for 2015. And just to confirm that I will never be pigeon-holed into any particular niche, the Top 10 covers topics as diverse as diet, exercise, blogging, being a working mum, ways to win at dinner, the hell that is threenagers, drinking, and everything in between.

Here goes.

10. What your drink choice says about you: The Mum Edit

One of my personal favourites for the year, because it was so much fun to write. It’s called ‘research’ people ;).

What your drink choice says about you |

9. Things I Swore I’d Never Do When I Became a Mum

This one really seemed to resonate with a lot of you guys, I guess because none of us have any idea about how we’ll parent until we start parenting. I’ve added a few more to the list since I wrote this!

8. Secret Diary of an Australian Threenager

Another fave of mine, as it takes me back to the sheer, unadulterated TORTURE that Little Miss was as a Threenager earlier this year. I am glad that’s over! Although the Stuntman will be hitting prime Threenage months in approximately six months. Hold me.

7. Why mums returning to work make awesome employees

This was (surprise surprise) a tongue-in-cheek post about some of the qualities you develop as a mum that can transfer to the office. Despite it being a bit of a joke, it was shared on a few different recruitment pages and got a very positive reception, with people saying they wished employers could see these skills too. Amen to that.

6. 10 types of people you meet at a blogging conference

I wrote this after coming back from my first ever ProBlogger conference (which was brilliant, by the way). Surprisingly I still had bloggers willing to talk to me afterwards ;). I love youse all!

10 types of people you meet at a blogging conference |

5. What they don’t teach you in antenatal classes (but should)

Another example of how crap I am at writing headlines. Did anyone teach you how to not punch your partner in the face during labour? No. Something that should definitely be added to the cirriculum.

4. Bum shamed at the playground

My most recent post, about an innocent day at the park gone bad, thanks to Miss Fucking Prissy Pants Helicopter Mum. This one made the front page of MumsNet.

Bum shamed at the playground | www.toiletsarentforturtles.com3. 10 Time-Saving Dinner Hacks

Exactly what it says on the tin. Who says I’m not a helpful blogger?

2. Dear Pete Evans: It’s Not Me, It’s You

My break up letter to that activated nutcase, Paleo Pete.

1. 10 Signs You’re a Fitbit Freak

My most visited post this year was a silly little listicle about being addicted to your Fitbit. It went crazy when I posted it, and has had another round of interest this week from all the people who got a Fitbit for Christmas. Step on, Fitbitters!!

Ran around the park with the kids for an hour - Forgot Fitbit | Fitbit meme | 10 signs you're a Fitbit Freak | www.toiletsarentforturtles.comSo that’s it from me for 2015.

Thank you all for your support and encouragement throughout the year, and for sharing your own stories about parenting fails, swearing in playgrounds and hangovers from hell. I really appreciate your comments, likes and shares, and hope I can keep writing stuff that makes you want to comment, like and share some more. It’s what makes the internet go ’round after all!

Here’s cheers to a ripper 2016 – wishing you all great sleep, hot coffee and no turtles in your toilets :).

Mumma McD x



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