ICYMI… Introducing Toilets aren’t for Turtles

a cartoon turtle

If you’re just checking in to Toilets aren’t for Turtles for the first time, then you might be wondering what on Earth this blog is all about. A little bit of dairy-free cooking, a lot about how hard being a mum can be, quite a bit of swearing, and some funny shit thrown in as well. Hopefully 😉

Well yes, that about sums it up.

You might also be wondering why I decided to call the blog Toilets aren’t for Turtles – weird name isn’t it?? Well, it was inspired by the time my Little Miss, as a tiny tot, decided to take her turtle for a swim. In my toilet.

So by way of introduction, and just in case you missed anything…here’s a run down of what’s been happening on the blog these last five months or so.


mumma mcd and the Stuntman

Hi, I’m Mumma McD

I am Mumma McD. I work (currently part time) in corporate communications for a not for profit organisation, and have a professional background in public relations, advertising and marketing. I’m in my late 30’s, so am probably considered an ‘older’ mum to a lot of people, but in my circle of friends this is a pretty normal age to be starting out on the parenting journey. I need coffee to get up and red wine to relax. I love to cook, and am currently obsessed with wholefoods and thermocooking. I’d love a Thermomix, but at the moment I’m making do with a Bellini Intelli Kitchen Master, or Boris as he’s affectionately known.


The Stuntman and Little Miss having a cuddle, B&W image

The Stuntman and Little Miss – best buds (mostly)

They are my two cheeky kiddies. Little Miss, my delightfully precocious Threenager, and the Stuntman, my almost-Terrible-Two (he’s almost two, but he’s definitely already terrible ;)).

Little Miss gave me very little trouble as a baby, but is paying me back by the truckload now she is a Threenager. She is super-smart, very funny, and virtually impossible to control. All features I really admire and want to foster in her, but maybe not while it’s me that’s trying to control her.

The Stuntman has been a pain in the arse from the day he was born, due to Upper Lip & Tongue Ties, cow’s milk & soy protein intolerance, a tendency to projectile vomit several times a day and an annoying habit of not sleeping. Ever. But he is actually the cutest toddler on the planet, my most delicious little man and, despite how much I complain sometimes, I don’t really want to send him back for a refund. (Although I’d certainly get his Sleeping function replaced under warranty if I could).


Mr McD and I have been together for just over 6 years, and married for 3. We struggle through this daily parenting grind, with (mostly) good humour and lots of affection for each other. He’s my best mate and I couldn’t imagine being on this journey without him. We are both prone to moaning and complaining probably more than our fair share, and we both enjoy playing the “I’m more tired than you” game. Which is silly really, because obviously I’m more tired than him. I mean, I’m the MUM after all. But, to be fair, he does an awful lot for our family, and is the most awesome and fun dad, so I’ve got a lot to be thankful for.

The McD’s Do…

A gelati bar with silver serving tubs

Gelati bar at the Ramsgate Foodie Markets… Mmmmm..

We like to do lots of things as a family… we recently had a 3 week trip to NZ, and we also love fun family days out, going to markets and things. I like to share some of the fun things we do on this blog.

The Boobs

I’m still breastfeeding the Stuntman at – shock horror – 22 months of age. I never planned to be an extended breastfeeder, but that’s just the way it’s worked out, and we both couldn’t be happier. I do share a few stories on this blog about what it’s like to breastfeed a toddler, or as I call it, ‘BOOBNASTICS’, and about some of the challenges I face as a breastfeeding working mum.

Dairy Free

a selection of dairy free Easter eggs

A selection of dairy-free Easter eggs. Yes, they do exist!

As I’m still breastfeeding the Stuntman, and he is intolerant to cow’s milk, we both follow a strictly dairy-free diet. This can be pretty challenging, but we’ve found some good ways around it over the last 18 months or so. We also have to avoid all soy protein, which is probably more challenging than avoiding dairy to be honest. I’ve been experimenting with Paleo over the last few months but am finding it too restrictive for my family, so am looking for something a bit more flexible.


Steve 'The Commando' Wilson, looking very imposing in black sunglasses

The Commando – not someone you’d expect to run into at Westfield

I like to think I have a few funny stories in me, like the time I met The Commando in the parents’ room at Westfield, or the worst Tuesday morning kindy-run ever. Or our horrendous flight to NZ with a teething Stuntman. If you can’t laugh at your life when it turns to shit, then what have you got? Just shit. So I try to make the shit funny.

Helpful hints

I also like to share helpful hints about How to… do stuff like assemble a port-a-cot, travel with toddlers, or entertain your kids on a budget. I’m not sure how helpful they are really, but I do try.


I freely admit, I am a mum who swears. Not excessive amounts, and never gratuitously, but just be warned that I do have a swear filter missing. I don’t swear in front of the kiddies, but I do think that a good old-fashioned f-bomb can lighten the mood and relieve a bit of tension. And sometimes no other word will do! Unlike that other F-word which is destructive and holds way too much power over people (me anyway).

Recipes and meal planning

chocolate cupcakes

Mmmmm… cupcakes… dairy free of course

Despite being a drinking, swearing, old-bag of a mum, I’m actually a pretty good cook, and I love to organise my week with meal planning. I share meal plans and recipes that help us out during the week, in the hope that they might help you out too.

So that’s pretty much it, in a nutshell.

Thanks for dropping in to catch up on what you might’ve missed, I really do appreciate all of my readers who come by for a visit. Even all of my ‘fans’ from Russia, and those crazy ‘bots from simple-share-buttons.com. Love ya’s.

You can subscribe to Toilets aren’t for Turtles so you don’t miss anything – just pop your email in Subscribe at the top of the home page. And if you like what you’ve read here, please Like and Follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Google +. And hey, I’m on Instagram too, check it out!! I take photos of my long suffering kids and stick them on the internet!!


Mumma McD



  • Hey, nice to meet you! Cool blog title- it caught me attention. Wow, I can't imagine having to give up dairy for so long- well done you! 20 months with no pizza is a heck of a sacrifice, in my humble opinion!


    • Thanks for stopping by 🙂 I actually do have pizza, I just have it without cheese. It CAN be done! I know – shock, horror!!!!
      Of course it's nowhere near as gooey and tasty and yum, but at least I can still eat it!!!

  • I clicked on your post from Blog Chicks, and as I read through, I was like – wah! I think we might be soul mates. 😉 Late-ish 30s coffee and wine drinking, Bellini loving Mama who swears here, too. And I think the Stuntman is soulmates with my Hushpuppy. Replace tongue tie with hip dysplasia, and you've got a match. Fortunately, she seems to have grown out of her soy intolerance now that she's 2, which has opened up a whole new world. Here's hoping for the dairy, as well (though, thankfully she weaned herself at 10 months, so I get some sneaky cheese and milk when she's not looking). In the meantime, I'm totally checking out those dairy free Easter eggs and looking forward to some of your dairy free recipes.

  • Hi There, I just had to check out your blog when I saw the name pop up. Intriguing and thank you for the explanation! My girls were allergic to milk protein when they were tiny too – thankfully outgrew it and now just have one with a gluten sensitivity, always something!

    • Glad to hear yours outgrew their milk allergy! It's such a frustrating, time consuming thing to add on top of all of the other parenting issues!! Thanks for the visit 🙂

  • Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid

    Oh I'm so pleased I found you, and it seems I have so much to catch up on, I'm especially interested in that one time you met the Commando in the Parents Room! And I love the name of the blog. It's class!

  • Amy

    Hi There,
    Love your blog. I have just nominated you for a Liebster award. If you’d like to accept and pass along the love, here’s all the information http://www.thewanderingmum.com/blog/liebster-awar
    I look forward to your future blog posts.
    Amy (The Wandering Mum)

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