Mid-week Mayhem AKA Shopping with a Toddler

My little Stuntman will be two next month and seems to have really hit his stride with the old tantrum thing. He’s good. Very good. He puts his sister to shame. He’s got the whole face-down-on-the-supermarket-floor-kicking-and-screaming thing completely down pat.

If he wasn’t my child it would be quite entertaining. We certainly entertain a lot of people! Sometimes I hide just a little way away, behind the biscuits display, and pretend he’s not my kid at all. Trying hard not to laugh. I look around like – where’s the mum? All innocent. Not mine. Big shoulder shrug, hands up in that universal gesture of “I don’t know”. Look around a bit more. I try and wait it out until he’s calmed down a bit, but when I finally do go over to him he freaks out with extra intensity. *Sigh*.

Today he decided to starfish on the floor right at the entrance to the shop, right where everyone is trying to push their trolleys in. It took me about 10 minutes to get him up off the floor. Every time I went in for the scoop, he wiggled and jiggled and limp-noodled straight out of my arms. By the time I managed to sling him over my shoulder a line had formed of people and trolleys trying to get into the shop, all rubbernecking to see what the hold up was.

Toddler lying face down on wooden floor

Shopping with a toddler – this is how we roll

Biscuits saved the day in the end. The ones I’d been hiding behind turned out to be dairy free, so I grabbed a box and shoved one in front of his little red face. Instant turnaround.

“Ank oo mummy.”

Smiles all round. It’s like a tap, a two year old temper. On, off. Hot, cold. The trick is in finding out how to turn it off.

After the Coles experience I thought we’d better make a quick getaway and head straight home, but he wanted to stay and play on the Thomas the Tank Engine train ride thingy, that I’d stupidly made the mistake of putting $2 in one time 6 months ago. I’ve been hounded to “make it work mummy” every time we’ve passed it, ever since. My lie that it’s broken is wearing thin. Today was no different – he climbed up into the seat, looking gorgeously cute as he said “toot tooooooot, mumma TWAIN!! I’m onna TWAIN! Mumma make it GOOOOO!”

Thomas the Tank engine ride

Stop smiling, this isn’t going to end well

I indulged him for a few minutes, letting him and Little Miss sit in the carriages, making train noises, furiously turning the little steering wheels.

“Make it gooooooooo!”

“Sorry darling, it’s broken, mummy can’t make it go.”

Does anyone not say it’s broken? Apart from that one time 6 months ago, I’ve never put money into one of those bloody things. Friends I’ve spoken to are the same.

Just as we were about to make a clean getaway, a grandma came up with her little toddler grandson and asked if he could sit in the back carriage.

“Of course,” I said, smiling sweetly, “we were just about to leave anyway.”

“Oh don’t rush off, here, I’ll put some change in.”

Oh FFS granny, ARGHHHH!!!


What do you think of those supermarket ride things?

Do you put money in? Or do you lie and say it’s broken like me?

Do you sometimes find it hard not to laugh at your tantrumming toddler??


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