Things you should NEVER do in public

As I was walking home this evening, the traffic on the road was at a standstill, with cars backed up for miles. Being a nosy sticky beak writer, I couldn’t help but sneak a peek at each of the drivers.

In one late model BMW I saw a woman who was plucking her chin hairs in the rear vision mirror. She’d come prepared – she had tweezers and everything – so this was obviously not an uncommon occurrence for her.

Now, for me, plucking chin hairs is not something I would ever do in public. That’s crossing a line as far as I’m concerned.

But it got me thinking – what are some of the other things that just shouldn’t be done in public?

Here are my top 10:

Hey, handsome man, put it away
Photo credit

1. Hair removal

If you need to pluck any type of hair, be it chin, brow, nose, ear, or – gasp – pubic, please, just do it at home. Some might say that inside a person’s car isn’t ‘public’, but really, if I can see you, it’s public. This includes shaving.

2. Ear cleaning

Gross. Watching you insert that little cotton bud and wiggle it around, then inspect the end result makes me feel ill.

3. Tooth picking

Equally gross, do it in the bathroom people! I know you might have a raspberry seed stuck in your molar, but just nip off to the bathroom and we’ll all be happy.

4. Nose picking

No explanation necessary. Unfortunately I see this on a regular basis. And not just from my children!

5. Toenail cutting

Just urgh.

6. Crotch adjusting

I’m looking at you, men. Get your hand off it.

7. Wedgie removal

I know it’s uncomfortable, just please do your knicker-fishing behind closed doors.

8. Deodorant application

You need to try and keep some mystery.

9. Pimple squeezing

No, no, no.

10. Applying makeup

Unless it’s just a quick lipstick touch-up and a dab of powder, do it before you leave home.

Now, that last one is probably going to be a bit controversial, but I really think that makeup should be applied in private. I view it as a part of getting dressed.

I see women doing their whole face – foundation, powder, blush, eyeshadow, brows, mascara, lippie, the works – on the train in the morning. I’ve even seen women painting their toenails on the train.

Please, just don’t!

If you don’t have time to do your makeup before you leave the house, then try getting up 10 minutes earlier. A public bathroom is slightly better than a packed train, but still not ideal.

Unfortunately I’ve seen people doing all of these things on my train commute to work, and that’s just this week! Please, let’s maintain some mystery, and keep private things private.

What other ‘private’ behaviours have you witnessed in public? Do the ones I’ve listed annoy you too, or am I just being a prude??


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