Screen Door Wars – Fighting the battle against mosquitos

Screen Door Wars - fighting the battle against mosquitos |

* This post is brought to you by Mortein

I don’t know about you, but I for one am pretty glad to see the back of winter.

I actually quite like winter. But only about one month’s worth, not three.

First month in I’m all smug and snug in my scarves and boots and woollen coats, happy to toast my butt by the heater. It’s all about marshmallows and hot chocolate and winter warmer meals in the slow cooker… opaque tights and layered outfits and mini-breaks to the Blue Mountains to sit by the fire and drink red wine (not that I ever need an excuse to drink red wine).

Woman smiling, wearing winter fashion |

Me at the start of winter

By the end of July I’m sick to death of my horrid, dry skin, dreaming of an island holiday, and bitching about the extra five kilos I’ve managed to layer on. By August I’m a flipping nightmare. Roll on the warmer weather!

But with the warmer weather comes an ongoing battle in our house – the War of the Screen Door.

Our house has a family room that opens out onto a big deck, with a sliding glass door that opens right up to make it an indoor/outdoor entertaining space. Of course, as we live in Australia, there’s a screen door as well, to keep us safe and protected. But do you think I can get anybody in this house to close the bloody thing? Not a chance.

As a born-and-bred Aussie, I have a healthy respect and passionate hatred of mosquitos, flies and all other flying insects. And crawling ones. And slippery, sliding, slimy ones. All of the buggers really.

My husband, as a born-and-bred Brit, is absolutely terrified of the bastards. As much as he’ll deny it.

We also discovered last year that Little Miss is allergic to mozzies so it is really important that we keep those little blighters out of our house. She gets these horrific swollen welts that last for weeks and weeks, and are really painful, like this:

Swollen, red mosquito bite | Screen Door Wars |

And yet I walk into the room to find this…

Screen door wars |

Every. Freaking. Day. Several times a day. It drives me nuts!

You wouldn’t think keeping a screen door closed would be such a big deal, or cause so much angst and distress, but it is my number one source of frustration from now until about May (when it becomes about closing the glass door to keep the heat in).

“Yes, of course you can play outside darling. Close the door behind you, we don’t want the mozzies to get in. Close the door sweetheart. Quickly now. Close the door. CLOSE THE DOOR!!!!”

Door slams on tiny finger.

“ARGHHHH!!!! Mumma! I hurta pinga! Kiss it better?!?? Peas??”

“Oh poor baby, of course, here sweetheart, mumma kiss it better. All better? Now, go outside and play. Off you go. Close the door darling. Close the door. CLOSE THE FREAKING DOOR!!!”

20 minutes later…

“Babe, I’m just going to turn on the barbecue for dinner, can you take the steaks out of the fridge?”

“Yes sure, could you close the door please honey. Close the door. CLOSE. THE. DOOR!”


Try as I might, I can’t get them to keep the damn door closed, so when the people at Mortein sent me a Naturgard Outdoor Auto Protect unit I set that up on the deck quick smart. Those sneaky little beggars can’t even get anywhere near the door now, open or not.

So it’s game on suckers. Just try and cross my barricade. We’ll see who reigns supreme this summer. (Hint: it won’t be those mofo mozzies).

How do you feel about creepy crawlies? And buzzy buggers?? Are you from the ‘live and let live’ school of thought or do you blast those blighters into next week like me?!?


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