Play Centre Purgatory

You know the places – cavernous, noisy, snot-covered spaces decorated in bright colours and covered with padding, designed to create the illusion of happiness and joy. In reality, these places are about as far from happiness and joy as I am from becoming an Olympic swimming champion. That is, very fucking far. I avoid them like the plague as a […]

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Why toddlers are better than babies

Why toddlers are better than babies | www.toiletsarentforturtles.com

With my youngest turning two next week I’ve been feeling nostalgic and a little melancholy that my baby isn’t really a baby anymore (not that he’s been a baby for about a year, but whatever! Hormones!). Reminiscing about my babies being babies is making my ovaries very noisy, and the situation isn’t helped by the fact that we’re currently experiencing […]

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Mid-week Mayhem AKA Shopping with a Toddler

My little Stuntman will be two next month and seems to have really hit his stride with the old tantrum thing. He’s good. Very good. He puts his sister to shame. He’s got the whole face-down-on-the-supermarket-floor-kicking-and-screaming thing completely down pat. If he wasn’t my child it would be quite entertaining. We certainly entertain a lot of people! Sometimes I hide […]

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Ways I ruined my toddler’s life…

I’m considering changing The Stuntman’s nickname to The Strop. In the last few days he has changed from being my happy-go-lucky, cheerful little side kick to being a moany, whiney, tantrum-throwing little monster who’s favourite word is “Nooooooo…….”, delivered from a scrunched up face full of hate. I’m not new to the world of toddler tantrums, but some of his […]

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