11 things that shit me to tears
There are a lot of aspects of being a mum that I absolutely love. Cuddles – or ‘huggles’ as my three year old calls them – are awesome. Hand-drawn gifts of love – gorgeous. Having little faces light up when you enter a room… all beautiful, lovely things that can bring a tear to my eye.
But there are also plenty of aspects of being a mum, and life in general, that drive me to the brink of insanity.
Just a few things that shit me to tears
1. Lids being left off textas
Fucking get it together kids, you can take them off, now PUT THEM BACK ON! There are few things more frustrating than realising that the new set of textas you just spent $20 is already cactus.
2. Craft mess
Apart from lid-less textas, the little tiny bits of paper strewn all over my floor, sticky patches of glue and perpetual glitter drive me completely bonkers.
3. Dirty clothes chucked on the floor next to the laundry basket
If I’m required to wash your damn clothes then you’re required to at least get them in the bloody basket.
4. Odd socks
Where the fuck do they go? WHERE?? At the moment we’ve got at least 11 single socks waiting to be reunited with their mates. A fruitless wait, I’m sure.
5. When a child demands an apple, then takes a single bite and discards it
WHY? Just eat the bloody thing! Or at least hide the evidence in the bin so I don’t have to see it. What I don’t know won’t make me yell-y.
6. The random tissue in the washing machine
I wear a lot of black. This week I’m wearing a lot of black featuring tiny white fluffy bits. Fuck you random tissue.
7. Mums who go down the slide
Look mum, just let your kid play. You don’t need to be involved in every moment. Get off the fucking slide – you’re ruining it for the rest of us.
Actually winter in general. My kids seem to have been recycling a snotty nose between them for the last six weeks. As are most children at this time of year. Urgh. Get off my sleeve.
“Look at that amazing dad, changing a nappy!” “Oh wow, you’re lucky to have a man who will pick the kids up from daycare.” Fuck off. Dads don’t deserve a framed certificate for parenting. They’re parents FFS.
10. The Olympics
Actually, the Olympics don’t shit me to tears, they just BORE me to tears. I think it’s the dreadful commentators, and the ridiculous saturation of ads in every segment. I just can’t get into it. Tongan flag bearers aside.
Please stop now.
Sorry I’m such a grumpy fucker this week. You know what doesn’t shit me to tears? Wine.
Got anything to add? What shits you to tears?
Linking up with Kylie Purtell for #IBOT.